For the love of Nachos

Bunny Nach

2011-12-21T20:19:00.000-08:00

What’s better than Nachos? Well, if you’re a Bunny, it’s a giant cardboard roll. This is Potatoes, and I can’t really speak for her, but based on observation I feel that it’s safe to say that chewing this rocks her socks.

Yes, I named my pet Potatoes. Because potatoes are the only vegetables that aren't the worst. Don't judge her; she loves it. If only our parents named us after things they truly loved (I imagine there would be many kids walking around named "guiltless sex" and "vacation time" and "not doing chores").

This post is for you (you know who you are)…

2011-12-21T19:59:00.000-08:00

Ah. The revival of the nacho blog; peer pressure at its finest.
Best way to ruin Christmas? Book a tropical getaway 12 days later. Bikini time on the horizon = no treats for me. That’s a lie. I’m the worst; I’ve still been sneaking treats, but slowly and in intervals. It doesn’t count if you spread it out, right?

I didn’t do any festive baking this year for fear that it would turn into a festive spare tire. That’s fine in the arctic of Alberta when you can hide it under your 18 layers of flannel, but not so much when you’re learning the Meringue in a string bikini next to the pool with Enrique and Bianca. And to make matters worse, Bianca can probably eat a whole chocolate cake then lose 6 lbs.

I’d lie if I said I was avoiding the Nach. I’ll take the spare tire for a good plate of Nachos. In fact I would take two.

Sherlock Holmes just gave me the BEST Nachos experience of my life. They took a risk and it worked; they mixed the salsa and sour cream. If only Drew from the XFactor was so bold, she may have made it to the final three. Way to push the envelope. Not to mention, they also covered the basics quite nicely. For an extra bonus, their waitress “Stacey” also went above and beyond – as far as acting out a screen play to “trick our friend.” But that’s a different story…

My new favourite!!!

2010-07-12T17:18:00.001-07:00

These beauties are the pulled pork Nachos from Devlins on Whyte Ave. I'm not much of a pork eater because I've watched too many PETA videos involving pigs, but I tried to forget about my love of little porkers in the name of blogdom.

At first I was skeptical of these nachos because they looked pretty plain and there was no sour cream...but a little goes a long way. These were delicious. The only thing wrong was that we couldn't stop eating them! Soooooooo good. The pulled pork was delicious, the salsa and the chips tasted home made and the cheese was perfect.

Also, I would like to retract my praise of the nachos at Next Act. The waitress was totally awful to my friends and me. I used to be a server, so I'm pretty understanding, but she was straight up rude. No matter how good the Nachos, they're not worth sitting through unpleasant service. I will never go back to the Next Act.

found a photo

2010-07-12T04:29:00.000-07:00

Nachos from Pub 1912 (or whatever year it is)
I had a photo on my camera!

What do you call cheese that isn't yours?.....Nach-yo cheese...

2010-07-09T12:58:00.000-07:00

First of all, my Blackberry is junk. I want to smash it. I would have photos but technology has failed us, my friends. So let this be an exercise in imagination. Remember imagination? It’s a lot like pretend, and a quality that was most predominant in children under 10, born pre-1990.

Pub 1904 (I can’t remember what year is in the name of the pub, so I’m guessing…it’s on Jasper Avenue in Edmonton.)

We ordered nachos from Pub 1924 (?) the night of Texas Guy’s goodbye party (had to go back to Texas). So we were all feeling pretty blue and in need of some comfort food. Naturally, that would be Nachos. I was pleasantly surprised. The only place they lost points was that they used mozzarella cheese. It was kinda weird. I can’t get behind that. But, for some people, maybe mozza is your thing.

The Next Act (Whyte Avenue-ish in Edmonton, AB)

Yes, I was hanging out with the theatre kids. Let me tell you, those drammies know how to Nacho! These Nachos knocked my socks off. My mouth has a crush on them. If my mouth had a unicorn diary, it would use it to write love notes to these nachos. The salsa was blah and we ran out, but you almost didn’t need it. The fact that I ate them when I was actually hungry and I was with my two favourite senioritas may have had something to do with how much I enjoyed them… We had the spicy chicken instead of the nacho beef.

I really hate doing things I don’t want to do. I complain about it often. But good news….Today I did two things that didn’t suck:
1. Took a long lunch to read some Chuck Klosterman
2. Spent $12 on a fancy organic salad. I love fancy salads. If my blog wasn’t about Nachos, it would absolutely be about fancy salads. Yum yum yum. I even got a fancy water with little mago chunks in it.

Also, the gals at my new job go to some boot camp class at the “Y” at lunch and they invited me to come along. That will get exercise out of my life at an earlier point in the day, and will greatly enhance my Lost watching pleasure. (My latest work out routine is to hop on my cross trainer while watching old seasons of Lost…we’re on season three, actually I think tonight we’re watching the season finale…. I’m not sure if I even really like Lost… I just really want to know what happens.)

Let's be real, people....

2010-06-24T08:27:00.000-07:00

Enough hooey. Let’s be real, people. Let’s call a spade a spade.

Vegetables are gross. Unless you are talking about potatoes. Especially when they are chopped up into finger friendly bite sized strips and fried in a big pot of grease.

All of you health nuts are going to say, “Oh veggies can be delicious! You just have to get used to them..try cooking them this way..I prefer vegetables...blah blah”. You people are delirious. If right now a giant storm cloud rolled in and parted to reveal the Jesus of Skinny floating down on his Unicorn of Health to point his finger at all of us mortal folk and shout “Thou Shall eat whatever thy enjoys and not be Fatteth or get Cancereth!!” do you think the health nuts would respond with “No thanks, I’m good.”??

That’s what I thought.

I’m not starting a revolt against health. I am just tired of feeling like an alien because I’d rather snuggle up to a Cheezie instead of a carrot stick.
The truth is vegetables suck, but so does being fat and getting sick. Kind of like when you grow up and realize “paying bills” is not as fun as it sounds when you are seven.

I’m sure I’m not the only person who doesn’t have this ZEST for living a healthy lifestyle. It’s like chores, or making your bed when company comes over....I do it because I have to.

So that’s where I was. I got engaged (gotta be a skinny bride!) and am about to start a new job with a wonderful organization that has a lot to do with promoting healthy living. I didn’t see room for nachos in my life.
But it’s occurred to me that a lot of people probably feel the same way I do about health. I love sun tanning, I love eating crap food, I love day-long naps (with a snack break of course) and I liked those clove smokes my friend had that one time we were camping....

So my blog is about living a healthy lifestyle in the laziest way possible. I am on a mission to find ways to enjoy all of our favourite “bad” things without getting fat or dying of some crappy lifestyle related disease. Oh and I’m still going to blog about Nachos. Mostly Nachos.

NACHOFF 2010

2010-06-24T07:16:00.000-07:00

I am terrible. Who starts a blog and doesn't write in it again for three months? This guy that's who. Truth is I've been on an interesting journey and it has led me right back to this blog...but I'll get to that later. There are more important things I need to share with you right now.
I can redeem myself for my absence. I thought about this long and hard. I even considered making it a Core Competency....BACON. Bacon on Nachos. Yes. Try it. You'll never go back.
How was this greatness discovered? NACHOFF 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

We have a buddy from Texas who claims Canadians make "weird" Nachos. So we had a contest. Texas guy vs. Gladys vs. Vanessa. (I changed the names. I don't want to "out" anyone's Nacho love if they're not ready).
In the end, it was a REALLY tough decision for the judges and the determining factor ended up being bacon. If all three contestants used bacon it might have been a different outcome. "Gladys" was the champ. She won a bag of random stuff we found in my apartment, including napkins that looked like $100 bills, a map of Ontario and a half used book of crossword puzzles.

Nachos fail

2010-03-02T14:16:00.000-08:00

These Nachos completely FAILED in the cheese distribution and appropriate amount of salsa.
And they were almost $20. Obyrnes Irish pub on Whyte Avenue.
I love you, O'byrnes, but your Nachos are no good. 3/10

Canadian Pride Nachos

2010-03-02T13:49:00.000-08:00

These Nachos were devoured during the Canada vs. Slovakia men's Olympic hockey semi final. They're from Hudson's Tap House on Whyte Avenue in Edmonton, Alberta. They score a 7/10.
They fell a bit short in the cheese disbursement category (and we even ordered extra cheese).
It was also clear the strength of the chip was not up to par, or we got the bottom of the bag. It was mostly crumbs.
Thumbs up on appropriate amounts of salsa and sour cream. I think we even ordered guacamole.
Overall, they went well with our pitchers of beer and "glowing hearts".

Goooood Nachos...

2010-03-02T13:16:00.000-08:00

My blog is obviously about Nachos.
Every possible situation in which Nachos are involved.
Good Nachos. Bad Nachos. Break-up Nachos. Make-up Nachos. Wedding Nachos. Divorce Nachos. Nachos with friends. Nachos with the fam. Nachos in the winter. Nachos in the summer. Drunk Nachos. Healthy Nachos. Dessert Nachos. Nachos in the shower. Nachos for your pets.

Let's get to the point.
What makes a good traditional plate of Nachos?
After many discussions with fellow Nacho connoisseurs, I have developed a short list of Nachos Core Competencies:
1. Cheese must be EVENLY distributed throughout the plate.
This is a common offense and should be stopped. Cheese should be found on all layers, not just the top!
2. Don't skimp on the salsa.
If you are giving us a GIANT plate of nachos please allot a proportionate amount of salsa.
3. Use strong chips
Nachos should not have to be eaten with a fork because they have turned into crumbs.
4. Nachos should be shared.
Don't be a pig.

Those are the basics.
Is that too much to ask?

Happy First Post!!!

2010-02-10T12:24:00.001-08:00

The other day I noticed I spent the entire day doing things I hate. I got up at 5 a.m. to work out (I like sleeping. I like sitting.), I spent 8 hours at work , I came home, did the dishes and then went to a three hour "how to use HTML" class, which should be re-named "why you should curb-stomp Dreamweaver". Then I came home and went to bed.
During the day I ate food that was "good for me" when all I reeeaaallyy truly wanted was a heaping plate of cheesy chicken nachos...with all of my heart and soul...But No. Nachos are bad. Yay to life.

I shouldn't complain.
I could be living in poverty. But a part of me feels like I am. Like soul poverty...

I know what's missing...more nachos.